There’s more thought that goes into a website than people actually think. Of course the coding is very important but before that, you need to decide on what you need to code. That’s where web design comes in. Picking layouts, colors, typography, what content is needed for the project at hand, all these things are the design portion that comes before the coding.

Since I was seven years old, I have been making small sites as a tactic to satisfy my boredom. I enjoyed creating something that everyone had access to no matter where they are. The act of lining up images and text boxes and relating colors was quite soothing. I forgot about it for a while; I was consumed by more pressing matters.

It wasn’t until I joined STAC about ten years later that I discovered that I have a knack and a love for it. The love for it grew substantially when I discovered it was a legitimate career. Since then, I have worked on a few sites, including this one. I found them quite easy, unlike my peers who’s minds were boggled by the endless possibilities. Other than being a ton of fun, being able to design a site makes me feel powerful. I get to manipulate every detail; parts that can and can’t be seen are under my complete control. Before I get to enjoy that feeling of power, I have to face my greatest enemy: fear.

I fear failure above all else. And in an attempt to avoid my fear, I avoid ever starting tasks. My teacher recently gave me an assignment where I have to develop and design an entire website from scratch. I am ecstatic about the opportunity to gain experience, but I’m terrified to disappoint not only my teacher but myself most of all. I took a leap of faith and logged onto the development domain. The page finished loading and I see a long list of files, unaware of what they contain or what to do with them. Completely overwhelmed by the unknown, I shut my computer and left it on the table on the other side of the house.

I have never been able to teach myself anything. I don’t have the discipline or the ability to focus. This assignment is exactly that and I’ even more afraid that I won’t make the deadline since I keep putting it off. I hate procrastinating, I always have, but somehow, I have adopted the habit and it’s ruining me. I have no idea how to stop it before it gets any worse. There’s another thing I need to try and self teach myself.

I’m in for one hell of a wild ride. Thanks Life! 🙂